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[14 Sep 2006|01:53pm] |
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Im telling you..nothing is more stressful then buying a house..shopping around going in and out of them arguing cause you cant agree then finding one you absolutly love thats huge and amazing! then putting a contract on it..and having to wait..then nothing is more frusterating when the seller says "well get back to you by 4" then calls at 3 and says "well let you know by 8" so in those hours your freakin out cause you dont know what will happen then 10 minutes to 8 your realtor calls and says come over and then you get there and the seller sends you counter offer papers..so then your really freakin out and paronoid..so you send those back and have to wait another day..then your told "oh well call you at 4" then get a call that says "we changed it to 6" then "we changed it to 6:30" then 7 rolls around and no call then you call them and they say..sorry we took the other offer..i swear to god its so fucking gay..i hate buying houses/condos..fuck looks like its back to the beg and searching again..lame.
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[21 Jul 2006|01:36pm] |
i like where we are
when
we drive in your car
i like where we are
here
cause our lips can touch
and our cheeks can brush
our lips can touch
here
you are the one
the one that lies to close to me
whispers hello i miss you quite terribly
i fell in love
in love with you suddenly
now theres no place else i could be
but here in your arms
cause i like where you sleep
when you sleep next to me
i like where you sleep
here
you are the one
the one that lies to close to me
whispers hello i miss you quite terribly
i fell in love
in love with you suddenly
now theres no place else i could be
but here in your arms
our lips can touch
our lips can touch
here
you are the one
the one that lies to close to me
whispers hello i miss you quite terribly
i fell in love
in love with you suddenly
now theres no place else i could be
but here in your arms
you are the one
the one that lies to close to me
whispers hello i miss you quite terribly
i fell in love
in love with you suddenly
now theres no place else i could be
but here in your arms
oh here in your arms
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| Sometimes we push away the things we need most |
[20 Jul 2006|10:22pm] |
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You ever have those moments in your life that you never ever want to relive. The moments that have hurt you the most. When you really need the person you love the most with you and they need space and dont want to be with you. 7 months today and he tells me he needs a break, and some space. and im going to need him tomorrow i know i will. its going to be so hard to get threw tomorrow. all the memories with that person. and a year to date tomorrow they left you. and you;; never see them again. when someone body dies you need the one person who has always comforted you and told you they loved you and i can get threw it. but i wont have him when i need him to tell me this to reassure me. Im on my own with this. he doesnt want to see me till saturday and i dont understand why. he hasnt givin me a reason. first his ex fucks with his head and on are aniversery he needs space and wants me to be strong when tomorrow is a year to date that my good friend died. what is he doing to me. he says hes stressed well so am i hunny. we both started new stressful jobs. but seeing him after work kinda lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. i know im in the arms of someone i love and who loves me back. he tells me i have nothing to worry about. is it true? i hope so. ive let my gaurd down. he has it all. everything i have to give is in his hands. yeah i have insecurities but we all do. guys hide thier emotions girls let it out. i cant help but cry when all i can think about is him leaving me. he says me crying makes him want to spend more time away from me. does he expect me to be fine with this. how can i. would you. this week has beeen the worst week ever. we were so happy and so in love until this week. and he seems distant and like he doesnt want to be with me. it kinda reminds me of the line in the notebook were she says "a girl knows when you looks into your eyes and sees you thinking about someone else" im only hoping this is for the better and after this we can go back to how we used to be happy and in love. everything happens for a reason right. i just wish i knew what this reason was. he wants to know i can go on without him supporting me. isnt that what a relationship is about. supporting each other and being commited and loving the person. im scared im scared out of my mind. i wish i knew what to do. im scared about tomorrow night. its a friday what will he do? i keep getting paronid hes with her. i trust him so much. and he knows it. i dont think he would do that to me. everyone said we were so perfect and what could of went wrong. was it me? is it him? was it her? the thought of not being with him makes me want to die. tears just roll down my face. and i cant stop them. im trying to be strong i really am. i just hope he doesnt need any longer. its not fair to me. or anyone. its not fair that im worried and worked up. not knowing whats going on and what hes thinking. not knowing what will happen tomorrow. not knowing whats bothering him. i shouldnt be this worried and maybe im just looking into this to far. ill give him his space. just now isnt the right time. its scary to know that your whole heart is in the hands of one person who you love so much. and he can break it. i stare at his pictures on my wall. i wonder what happened to us. he tells me i have nothing to worry about and he still wants to be with me and he still loves me and wants a future. i jsut dont understand if i make him happy and he cares about me why does he need time away from the person who can make him happy. sometimes i wish i could go back and change things. but then again i dont. i dont think i overreacted about the ex girlfriend. hed act the same with without tears though. i know if he was in my shoes and this whole thing would be reversed hed be upset and confused. WHY NOW! im starting to hate myself. i feel like ive pushed him away ive pushed him to this. ive been gone for 10 days and he still needs space. what did i do wrong. but he can start pushing me away if he makes me wait any longer. its not fair to me. but not seeing him is just making this worse. i wish he could just hold me and talk to me instead of talking to me on the phone. whats wrong with me? i find someone iam SOO fucking happy with and want to be with forever. and then when i least expect it he runs away.
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| 7 months today.... |
[20 Jul 2006|10:17pm] |
Forgive me for the things i never said to you.
For all the words i never said to prove that i
will always be devoted to you and me.
And if you cant feel it in my words then im sorry.
But im not sorry for my love
And to make your hands tremble and my my heart to rush
I would do it all over again.
Wouldnt look back on a thing.
Cause with you ive lived a 100,000 loves.
And i could never be sorry for love
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| dont turn around and dont look back... |
[17 Jul 2006|04:32pm] |
Why can't he understand. He says if he was in my shoes and this happend hed be pissed. Then why does he want this so bad. Why cant be just leave it alone and ignore her. will someone explain to me how talking to someone you dated who treated you like shit and left you for your friend right after your friend died will help or whatever he wants to accomplish. if someone treated you like shit and left you and flew across the country to get engaged to a guy who beat you why would you care why she up and left and why she was with the guy that beat her for so long. some things should just be left alone. and on top of it shes crazy and on a buncha meds. and she works with him and wants to go to lunch with him. what happens if they go to lunch. and they talk and become friends again and maybe want to get back together. shit like that happens and he doesnt understand. its like wow i miss this girl shes blah blah blah i want her back. it happenes! and then he wants me to hang out with him and his ex girlfriend. why the fuck would i want to do that. why would i care whats going on in her life. she does drugs and is on meds. man sounds like someone id want to get to know. why is he pushing this and making me out like IM the bad guy! I would never do this to him. I know how upset it would make him and uncomfortable but he doesnt seem to care. am i just over reacting or does this make sense to any body else. everything was good until he got his new job. but he loves that job,so i could never ask him to leave it even if it means me being upset and sick everyday hes at work cause girls are crazy and dont care about other girls especially girls they dont know and theyll do whatever it takes and whatever they want. how do i get over this. i know hes going to see her monday-friday and talk and maybe hang out and that bothers me cause im over protective but then it seems like im controlling him. i dont want to lose him. especially to someone whos hurt him before.
why does it matter. if someone treated you like shit and then that person got treated like shit KARMA why would you want to know details. fuck that person its thier own fault. let it go be happy with what you have.
everything happens for a reason right?
someone give me some advice please any body i honestly dont know what to do.
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[24 Jun 2006|01:42pm] |
Hookah bars are love!!
Annnnndd If you havnt seen Nacho Libre and your in the mood for a random funny movie go see it!
Annnnndd If you hsvnt seen the Lake House oh my gosh its soooo good go see it!! Its cute! If you like the Notebook, Youll like this movie!
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[16 Jun 2006|05:20pm] |
UPDATE!
so pretty much i freakin love my job! I get paid to hang out!
i love it! and i love my school! eeek! i love everything!
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| !!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
[25 Apr 2006|03:38pm] |
Life is amazing!
Prom was amazing!
My friends are amazing!
My mom is amazing!
My boyfriends amazing!
I couldnt ask for anything else! before during and after prom just amazing! im getting along with my mom which feels great! i hopfully should be moving out soon which im super excited for! Schools almost over so i can get away from that whole mess! i couldnt ask for better friends! and i freakin love my boyfriend!
I LOVE LIFE!
the end!
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| ive never cried so much in 2 days.. |
[19 Jan 2006|12:33pm] |
Ive had the worst 2 days..He wont talk to me, and i dont blame him. i fucked up and i know it. and it hurts to not be able to call him and just randomly talk. i told him how i felt and what i was going to do. and then he went to ryans. and an hour later i get a phone call telling me hes done. i understand i just wish i would of done what i was supposed to do sooner, but i was scared of hurting someone else. AND last night me and erica went to ryans house he wasnt home, as we were leaving he pulls up and i give him a hug and he goes "Hey, Yvonnes here" Yvonne is his EX girlfriend. why did he bring his ex gf to his appt at 9:30 at night when hes dating me..this is what he said.."Dont jump to conclusions its not like that we were together all night and you know we have finnancial things together she still has stuff here and we nneed to talk aboit what shes taking in march" he left me numorious times to hang out with her to talk about this shit, and if shes not taking it tonight why do they need to talk about it..oh wait it gets better. he says hell call me tomorrow walks away as im watching she puts her arm around him, and what does he do, he does the same..yeah you guessed it that relationship is done..
it sucks that i didnt end it with him sooner. instead of me hurting someone in the end im the one whos hurting. but im sure i deserve it. but i didnt lie. ryan told me to date jim to. jim knew i was dating ryan. if anything its ryans fault. he wouldnt commit to me for some odd reason. and he told me to date jim to. and now i miss jim a lot. and i want to fix things with him. but i cant for a while.
i just want to die. i need to get out of here for a while. whos with me.
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[17 Dec 2005|03:59pm] |
Life is good!
I absoltly love everyone!
And i miss a lot of you kids!
And when i say i'll call you, i lie.
Because i have a very bad memory and i SUCK at calling you back.
Im sorry! So all you kids should just give me a call and ill be happy!
Anyways. Nothing new has happened. really.
2 more full days of school.
a day and a period of finals. then no more for 3 days.
its awesome i only have 2 finals to take though. sweet.
<3
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[10 Dec 2005|07:20pm] |
Its been a while. a long while. and so much has happened.
I wont get into all of it. but its mostly been good.
Im quiting my job, because i got a new one.
I found someone whos amazing. and everybody loves him. so thats a plus.
Ive been spending a lot of time with my friends.
and yesturday was Ryans 21st birthday.
so its been good, up until now.
I get a call from my mom, of course freaking out, cause shes a freakin whore, and cant remember shit.
I get home she lectures me and somebody told my mom everything i didnt want her to know.
Now she doesnt want me to be with ryan anymore cause hes 21. which is queer.
3 months and she cant control me. i cant fucking wait. honestly.
And now im 'grounded' ha lets see how long this shit lasts.
<3
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[11 Nov 2005|01:21am] |
Im so glad i talked to you.
At first i was mad that he told you what i said.
But now im glad, because i got to tell you how i feel.
He wasnt trying to start shit, he was trying to help.
Thank you.
Now i know no matter what i say to you, everything will be good.
Everything is so good with everyone i care about.
Except one person that no matter what, i will always care for.
Now how do i talk to you and make everything go back to how it was.
Another accompliahment i need to try and do.
I pretty much love you all a lot.
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| You jedi mind tricked me |
[15 Oct 2005|02:08am] |
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When you have to look away When you dont have much to say Thats when I love you I love you, just that way To hear you stumble when you speak Or see you walk with two left feet Thats when I love you I love you, Heres my promise made tonight You can count "on" me for life Thats when i love you When nothing you do can change my mind The more I learn, The more I love The more my heart cant get enough Thats when I love you, WhenI love you no matter what So when you turn to hide your eyes Cause the movie it made you cry Thats when I love you I love you a little more each time And when you cant quite match your clothes Or when you laugh at your own jokes Thats when I love you I love you, more than youll know And when you forget that we had a date Or that look that you get when you show up late Baby I love you, I love you anyway When nothing baby Nothing you do could change my mind So i was definitly watching that movie, and i love this song, thats my reason for writing it down. The end.
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| In a perfect world...anything can happen.. |
[15 Oct 2005|01:58am] |
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You were right And I don't wanna be here If your gonna be there Was that supposed to happen I'll hold tight I'll remember to smile Though it has been a while And without you does it matter There's no room No place to start When our souls are apart I wanna travel through time See your surprise Hold you so tight I'm counting down the days tonight I just wanna be a million miles away from here I'm counting down the days How've you been It's just the usual here And days are feeling like years And every day's without you Now I cry Just a little too much When I think of your touch And everything about you I feel cold I'm in the dark When our souls are apart
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[12 Oct 2005|09:54pm] |
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What don't you understand? Forget the master plan I'd give it all away to have you I said it in my [letter] So we could make it better No need for you to read between the lines Baby, can I be your baby? Definitely maybe won't do Someday you'll see All our worlds collide Way out in space
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| And this is where the story ends. |
[11 Oct 2005|09:44pm] |
I definitly dyed my hair Saturday.
And i love it! its SOOO differnt..
Thats what happens when we get bored at work..
I work everyday this week..which kinda sucks..
But i didnt work today, so last night was definitly
good. i love swimming and drinking late at night!
I get paid Friday!! WoohoO!
;;End;;
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| i promised to never fall in love, with a stranger.. |
[06 Oct 2005|09:54pm] |
I pretty much hate people.
a lot
I got a job, i work at a salon.
That makes me happy.
I havnt slept much this week, at all.
My car got keyed, i bet the kids who did it
feel super cool now, huh.
One word: karma.
Ive given up on a lot of things this week,
Mostly you
i realized i dislike more people then i thought,
school, effing sucks.
fall break next week.
im excited.
pictures of us, collecting dust..
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| pictures of us, are collecting dust.. |
[29 Sep 2005|06:51pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 cold |
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| [ |
music |
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laguna beach music |
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You know the feeling, when your upset for so long,
and than within a week, so much good stuff happens,
and everything you were upset about it, doesnt matter at all..
I love it..
This past week has been insane, im back at home, for those of you that didnt know,
i got kicked out saturday, sunday i went to BFE and travis cooked for us,
and it was amazing, Monday I hung out with Aj, we got SO lost in Mesa..haha,
Then we hung out with keaton in the bar, funny funny. Tuesday was the MCR and Alkaline trio
concert, it was good. Wed. Hung out with Erica and Aj for most of the day, Then we met chuck
at the bowling ally, hung out with him, then i hung out with nicole, boo, tom and aj,
went home and at 12:30 in the morning me and Aj had to drive chuck home..drunk kids hahaha,
He lives 25 miles past Apache Junction and then some, 45 minute drive, WOW. but it was SOO nice
out there, so pretty. then me and AJ drove home, got home around 3:30am, woke up at 5am, but its
okay no big deal.
Tomorrow I think were going to the pool at night and do what we do there,
If anyone wants to go call me it will be fun, Saturday Melanies new apartment.
Im looking forward to this weekend, good things will happen,:D
I like him, a lot
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